-“I’d like to talk to her, but I can’t”.
We imagine having amazing conversations with the person that we fancy; sometimes we even go out on a date with them but reality is a stark contrast. We don’t or rather we can’t even talk to them. Let’s call this problem as ‘The problem of icebreaking.’ It might not be a big deal for most of the men but, for a specific genre of men, it is the end of a love story which actually never stepped on the grounds of reality. Let’s make an assumption about the basic problems that these type of men face and broadly give two different reasons for this behaviour.
The first and the most basic one being “The problem of anxiety”.
We often find ourselves having a deep desire to talk to someone but somewhere in our heart, we’re afraid to talk to them. We are afraid because for us that person holds a greater place. We automatically consider him/her as a person far superior to us; For us, we’re being judged by him/her, always. This problem is directly related to the problem of insecurity. The more insecure a person is, the more he/she is going to try to hide the embarrassing part of the personality and the more it is going to reveal itself. Just take an example of yourself. The last time you reached home, drunk, you might remember trying to act sober but the whole ‘acting sober’ made it clearer for your family or roommate to confirm their speculation that you’re drunk. Your overacting led you to do something weird, like, opening your laptop and try to work on it without being sober enough to know the fact that it is a briefcase; not a laptop. So, basically, as we try to hide the ugly face of our inner self it hampers our confidence. The blend of inferiority complex and self-embarrassment finally affects your level of confidence and possibility of having a love affair.
The second problem is “The problem of what to talk?”. This problem is uncommon and can only be found in the people who are unable to talk nonsense. Here, people are unable to find a topic to either start or if started, sustain a conversation.It should not be misunderstood that they don’t have anything going on in their mind, the problem arises when these men have to choose a topic that can be discussed by both without either of the two getting bored. It can be quite hard for some people to handle this pressure; so, they find it better to talk to someone of their own ranks; someone with the mindset like them and it is sheer luck to find someone who can understand you. This problem is highly confused with the other problems like being an introvert, and lack of self-confidence but it is not the same. Once these people get something to talk about, they can talk about it for hours.And those conversations with them can really make your day.
theanonymousindianguy 